I Brushed Against a Willow

I Brushed Against a Willow

I brushed against a willow,
It brushing through my hair,
The sound of freight train whistles
Moving on the air,
The sway from the commotion
Pushing me aside
I brushed against a willow,
To find a place to hide.

I sought a place of refuge,
Hidden deep within its mane,
The sound of freight train whistles
Calling out my name,
The racket from the train tracks
Rumbling in my ears
I brushed against a willow,
And released my pent up fears.

I brushed against a willow
It cloaked me from my past,
I sat among its tendrils
Breathing deep at last,
I heard the freight train whistles
Quieting on their way
I brushed against a willow,
And started on my way.

–Ava Hypatia, February 13, 2016

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Prompt: @ D’Verse Poets, Victoria asks us to write in 1st person.

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10 Responses to I Brushed Against a Willow

  1. Beautiful flow to this with a wonderful metaphoric take on the willow. It gave me a feeling of serenity.

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  2. I love the rhythm in this.. It’s like a song with those small changes in the refrain… I also like to read it on a metaphoric level.

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  3. Your poem does give that serene feeling, as Victoria mentioned. I like how the title’s verse sways through the poem.

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  4. I love this totally! The flow the rhymes, everything!

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  5. Sanaa Rizvi says:

    Especially love the refrain… such a hypnotic effect 🙂

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  6. This is lovely and, I suspect it could be a song.

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  7. whimsygizmo says:

    As a lover of all trees, especially willows, I absolutely adore this.
    Especially:
    “I brushed against a willow
    It cloaked me from my past”

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  8. A beautiful line for repetition. I like the setting of the poem…as if the narrator is walking on a field path alongside the railway tracks.

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  9. I love the use of repetition as it brings us back to the centre premise of your poem….such beautiful images you create…

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  10. Ah.. groWing up by railroad
    tracks.. Train trestle
    bridge almost
    stone’s throw
    away.. shakes foundation
    then of shot-gun river home..
    i wished for a push button
    machine now answeRinG
    aLL my questions.. but All
    i received then iS
    A sad
    refRain
    past iN
    whistle calls
    of trains old..
    all anew kNow!
    the birth oFliGht!
    iN human Wisdom
    feeLinG more.. a hive
    oF push button knoWinG
    and feeLinG arises whistles
    Now! Google train alWays
    moving ahead..
    ALL ABOARD!
    MORE FEELING
    WISDOM NOW!
    TRAIN
    OF
    BEING
    NOW..!..:)

    Like

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